Sick....?

Not sure if it is the sniffles or allergies. Ivy, Nathanael, and I have it.

We are in our Temporary House until our future house is cleaned and painted.

We currently do not have any internet connection, except if we go to the library, which is a little difficult with the kids. So...Pictures and updates will be scarce until we get internet at our new home.

Sorry!

A new season.

Fall is coming up quickly, and this year is coming to a closing faster than I realized. It has been a crazy year for many that I know. For me and the kids, we have spent the last 8 months living with our car, and the things that I could fit into it. That season is coming to an end. I'm currently in Wichita Falls, TX. I'm in a hotel room, and if I look up into the mirror, I can see my husband asleep in bed. He has worked very hard and deserves a good rest. Tonight he will graduate from Tech School (at the top of his class!) and sometime around 2pm on the 17th, we will make our way back to the east coast and reunite with our children. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVY!).

I'm looking forward to MANY good changes. The most obvious will be Nathanael being with me and the children. The 2nd most obvious, having our own home. I hope there will be many other changes in me as well...(diet, excerise, productivity, and so many more.)

Thank you to EVERYONE who has seen us though these 8 months. Those that housed and fed us, and those that poured thier lives into ours. We are truely greatful for your love.

Excited, Nervous, Gittery...and everything else.

Today is September 12, 2009. Tomorrow morning I am starting my 20hr trip to TX. The day has finally come where I get to bring my husband back to live with his family again. I dont' even think that I can explaine the joy I am experiancing. It is actually hard for me to think about the next few days because my heart starts to flutter, and I feel like I don't have control of my body. My stomach starts to turn, and sometimes I even feel sick. I'm just going to take it easy today, try not to think about everything, and get a good nights rest. I'll take everything a day at a time. Texas here I come!!

Life.

It's been so long, and there is so much to tell. I haven't been blogging as often as I used to. I have found the one liners on Facebook have been easier to keep up with, and make me feel productive, but I know its not true. I end up spending more time on there than I should/would if I were actually posting something to read.

Time is winding down, and everything is getting closer to reality for me. Once tomorrow comes, the kids and I will be one week away from another road trip. My time in Ohio carried on much longer than I ever expected it to. It has been a long hard road for the children and I. God has truly blessed me with 2 wonderful children. Ivy pushes the limits at times, but deep down she brings great joy to my life. There have been many trials that I have gone though since Jan. My past has been questioned, relationships torn apart and some restored, my emotions have been up and down, and my nerves have been shot over and over again. The one person that I would feel most comfortable leaning on and crying to has been 1000 miles away. It's been hard.

I've learned a lot though. I've learned that I am strong. I have begun to realize my purpose and place as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, and niece. Most of my life, I have felt that I needed to go along with the flow. I could state my opinion, but it didn't really matter, it wasn't going to change anything. I've learned that I am responsible for me. I am responsible for my children, and that is all that really matters. I can't change what others around me think or feel about themselves, the situation, and I certainly can't change what they think about me.

I'm going to leave Ohio, not knowing if I will ever get to see my grandmother again with life in her spirit. That is the only reason that I don't want next Monday to come. That is the only reason that I have stayed in Ohio as long as I have. I love her so much...and will miss her more than anything. I can't imagine my life without her. I know mine will go on, but there will always be a void once the day comes where she is no longer with me. I haven't been able to visit with her as much as I would have liked to. The hospitals and nursing homes aren't the easiest places to be when you have two young children. I want to thank my father and stepmother, and my mother and sister for making those times that I was able to sit by grandma's side possible. I haven't given up on her, and I know there is nothing my God cannot do, but I don't know when I will be back to Ohio again. There are no plans in the near future to return at this point.

Once I leave Ohio, I will be in Rock Hill for almost 2 weeks before I venture half way across the US to pick Nathanael up from TX. I'm so very excited for the day to come, when we are all in Charleston together. The children miss their father so much. I miss my husband more than ever. Nathanael has been without support by his side for 7 months now (8 by the time I pick him up). When we arrive in Charleston, we will celebrate Ivy's birthday that will have passed while Nathanael and I were in TX. Thoughts of getting her a bird have crossed my mind. She has also recently voiced that she would like a tea set that she can actually use to drink tea.

I'm so very thankful for my family. My husband and my children are wonderful to me. They are able to frustrate me beyond belief, but in the same breath bring tears of joy to my eyes. God has blessed me more than I could have dreamed. The rest of my extended family has been amazing. Spending hours on the phone, or face to face, they have let me rant and vent and some how always calm my nerves, and help me to see the truth. I am thankful.

From here on out, I need to take a deep breath, take everything a day at a time. If you are reading this, I ask that you keep my family in your prayers. We all need a little boost of strength to get though this next month.

If you are my friend, I thank you for standing by my side.

If you are my family, I thank you for holding me up.

To my children, I thank you for making me laugh.

To my husband, I thank you for loving me.

To my heavenly father, I thank you for putting these people in my life, and for all you've done and will do.

Frustration

I've tried two different times to upload pictures today, and both times I got an error screen that said Bad Request.

Need something new.

I haven't written anything lately. I'm currently watching Ari play with a wooden Melissa and Doug tool box. He is watching Sponge Bob. Ivy is talking to her daddy on the phone. That's about it.

Do I keep them?

Action

Ivy and I were playing around with the computer today. She told me she wanted to record something for her dad. I helped her a little with what to say. In the video she is wearing the 3D glasses I got when Nate and I went to see UP3D while I was visiting in TX. (I recomend the movie, and advise you bring tissues!)

Feed the People.

About a year ago I was sent this link to test my vocabulary and send grains of rice to the hungry while playing. I would test my skills off and on, and then forgot about it. I was going through some old emails and cleaning out my inbox, and came across it again. I was seeing how well I could do, and when I hit 2000 grains, I decided to look around the website. I came across some interesting information.

If you go here, you can get a little information as to what was started back in 2000. Supposedly, the United States has yet to reach our goal, let alone schedule it. There is a letter that can be printed off the Internet and mailed to show your support in the United State getting on board. If you are reading this and you don't live in the United States, you can go to this website and pick the country in which you live.

If you aren't interested in printing off the letter, maybe during your free time you will want to test your vocabulary.

I'm back in Ohio now with my two beautiful children. My dad came to pick me up from the airport and he brought the kids with him. Ivy was asleep when I arrived to the car, but Ari was bouncing around in his seat. I woke Ivy up to say hello. She gave me a sweet smile and closed her eyes again. When I finnaly got her to stay awake, I asked her if she had grown up while I was gone, and she said yes. I repremanded her, and told her that when I'm away she isn't allowed to grow up. She smiled at me and closed her eyes again.

Its good to be home, but I will miss Nathanael!

Here I am.

I am here in Wichita Falls, TX with my wonderful husband. I really needed this time away from everything. I love my children dearly, but I even needed a break from them. I've been able to go to bed when I please, and even wake up on my own :) I still have a few more days here, and nothing planned and no obligations!

Nathanael and I went shopping yesterday. He got some new shorts and sandels, and I got some new pants. Today we enjoyed a Mexican lunch, and watched Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Tomorrow we are going to try to finish up the series John Adams. I am really enjoying being lazy!

Story Time.

I should seriously start taking notes. It could be a best seller someday!

I'm frustrated.

I want to find tickets to get to Texas to visit Nate. You would think that I could get a military discount for travel...why can't I figure out how to do it? If you have any info for me please help!!

What to do.

I am possibly currently looking for an apartment in the Dayton area. If anyone has any information, please pass it on. Thanks.

Charleston, South Carolina

That's right, Nathanael got his orders today, and as soon as he graduates from training sometime mid September, we will be moving to Charleston, SC!!!

Just one thing at a time.

I'm starting to get overwhelmed with everything in my head. I think I need to start using a planner. I'm driving myself crazy thinking about everything that needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and if I forgot to do it. I think my brain is on overload.

I am dealing with multiple emotions constantly, and its tiring. Just today my daughter asked me when she was going to get to talk to her daddy again. I responded, "Well we can probably skype with him soon." She looked at me and said, "No mommy, I want to hold him. When will I get to hold him again?" Not only is it is draining on me not to have him hold me in his arms, but having our 3yr old long for his touch is heartbreaking.

My grandmother's health is up and down, back and forth, and all over the place. One day I'm told this could be the start to recovery, and the next day (or even just a few hours later I'm told this is the beginning of the end. Besides my husband and children, she has been, and will always be the most important person in my life. I love her so much and don't want to live my life without her in it. I want my children to grow up knowing her the way I do. I am currently trying to come to grips with the reality that even if her health was perfect, people don't live forever, and its not practical that she would live another 23yrs.

I don't know whether to stay here, or go along with our original plan. I would like to think that we can move on to our next destination with no worries, but when I convince myself the best thing is to leave, I find myself coming back to the thought of being so far away, and not knowing what is going on.

I do need prayer. I'm drained, tired, and lonely. I know I need to lean on Christ during this time, but I am finding it hard to focus. I feel like I never sit, unless I'm sitting with my grandmother in the quiet of her room, and then all I can think about is her. I keep telling myself this is just a phase in my life, and soon it will be over. I will be able to breath again with no tears. At this point I am forced to wait for that day.

Nathanael, I love you and miss you. I thank you for all that you are doing for your family. I look forward to the day that we can be together again. And your children are doing the same. I'm praying for your strength to get through this time without us. I know that God is holding both of us close, and soon we will be together.

waiting

i am currently posting using a wii. i can't wait till my computer arrives in the mail!

I'm on my way!

I'm sitting in the Columbus Airport right now waiting to get on the plane. I'm contemplating going and getting a cup of coffee. My hands are shaking so maybe that isn't a good idea. Not sure why they are shaking. I'm excited about seeing Nate, but sad about leaving the children. I guess that is as good enough reason as any.

I've got it.

Nathanael has given me his new address, and if you want it, email me and I will get it to you.

I need your help.

Ok...Just got word from Nathanael that his school schedule is 12am-7am Monday through Friday.

So...I may not be moving down to TX after all. Here is where all of you who read my blog come in. If I don't move to TX, I'm going to have to live somewhere for the next 4 months. I don't really care where, but I do think that I want our own place. I'm going to be looking for fully furnished places with utilities included in Chattanooga, Nashville, Dayton, and Rock Hill areas. I'm willing to live in a place that is not fully furnished if people know an easy way to get furniture.

So...if you want me and the kids to live near you, help me out! :)

Other thoughts...maybe I will find out where we are going to be stationed soon, and I could just go set up camp there...

Be Praying!